Forgive
by Jenny70529
Summary: Sara abruptly leaves Las Vegas to face the demons of her past. Will eventually be GregSara.
1. Starting over

**Author's Notes:** I know, I shouldn't be starting another story when I've got two others going on, but once inspiration hits, you've got to run with this. This will be a short story, probably only three or four chapters, and while it starts off as a Sara-centered story, it will turn out to be a Greg/Sara pairing in the end. I own no characters except for the ones you don't recognize.

Please be kind and let me know what you think.

_Jenny_

**Forgive:**

"I'm leaving." Sara said softly, holding Greg's hands tightly, "I thought I should let you know, I don't know if Grissom's going to say anything about it or not."

"You're what?" Greg asked, his face paling slightly as her words sank in, "No, wait, you can't leave. Why? What did we do?"

Sara sadly shook her head, fighting tears, "It wasn't anything you did, or anything Grissom did. It's just something I need to do. I need to get away from here, I need to try something new. I just can't be here anymore."

"Is it because the shifts are back together? Aren't you happy about that? You've been acting strange ever since Nick..."

Sara shook her head firmly, "It's not that, Greg, it's just hard to explain. I need to do this. Please don't hate me."

"I could never hate you." Greg replied, pulling her into a hug, "When's your last night?"

Sara looked down, sighing, "Tonight."

"Tonight?" Greg said, his voice nearly a whimper as tears filled his eyes, "And you're leaving town, aren't you?"

Sara nodded sadly, "I have to. There some...things...I need to take care of. I may come back, okay Greg? And I'll call all the time, I'll visit and write letters. You're my best friend, okay? I won't trash our friendship."

"Grissom wouldn't find it nearly as funny as you did if I blew up a toilet with dry ice." Greg commented, "And Nick and Warrick aren't nearly as good at teaching me as you are. Catherine makes me feel stupid, and Grissom makes me nervous. I'll never get to be a CSI level 2 if you're not here."

Sara smiled softly, "You can't guilt me into staying, Greg. Anytime you need anything, just call. You know I wouldn't leave if it wasn't absolutely necessary."

"Are you going to tell the others?" Greg asked curiously, "I mean, are you just telling me _first_, or are you just telling _me_?"

Sara nudged him with her shoulder, "See, you do make a good CSI. I'm only telling you. If Grissom says something, that's okay, but I don't want to answer any questions. They don't get me, you do. They're not my friends, you are."

"They are your friends!" Greg gasped, "At least they have been for the last five years...are you shortening your list or something? Setting new standards? Should I be worried about cut backs?"

Sara rolled her eyes, "Shut up, Greg. They're my friends, okay, but they're not the same type of friend as you are. You're...special. I thought you should know, end of story. They'll find out when I don't come in tomorrow. I don't like goodbyes anyway."

"Well, then I'm honored." Greg replied, giving her another quick hug, "I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you too." Sara whispered, slamming her locker shut, "Let's go, we'll be late for assignments. We'll talk again before I leave."

Without anyone knowing, she slipped into the locker room nearly half an hour before shift ended, packing her belongings and clocking out before any questions could be asked. Tomorrow, her team would come in and ask questions, be upset that she kept it a secret. Today, she could sneak out and pretend like everything was going to be okay.

She arrived in San Francisco at noon, having enough time to eat lunch before heading to her hotel. If she decided to stay, she'd rent an apartment, but for the meantime, a hotel would work just as well. Sitting at the small desk, she took out a tablet and began to make a list of things she would need to do. First item? Visiting her mother one last time.

Her mother was one of the main reasons she had came back to California, when years ago she had sworn she'd never cross the state line again. She had received a call from Jaysen, her brother, two days ago. That was the first sign of trouble.

Sara and Jaysen hadn't spoken to each other since the day she left for Harvard. Jaysen had been upset that she was "abandoning" him by leaving the state while he was still in foster care (although he was going to be turning 18 in a few short weeks). They had been close, before the incident between their parents. Both had been straight-A students, both had a wonderful sense of humor, compassion, and morals. After their father died and they were forced into foster care, however, they broke apart and each took a separate path. It wasn't until Sara was leaving that both realized how much they had grown apart.

Sara had made several attempts to contact him while she was in college, she had even sent him an invitation to her graduation, but he hadn't bothered to reply. When she got hired on at the SFPD, she made another attempt to contact him, considering how close she was, but he had refused her calls and attempts to visit.

Six months later, she had gotten called out to a B&E at a grocery store right outside of San Francisco, and low and behold, her brother was the main suspect. They had passed by each other briefly in the hallway, neither talking or making eye contact, and Sara had been promptly removed from the case.

Needless to say, a call from Jaysen meant serious trouble. The conversation was short, yet meaningful. Their mother had been diagnosed with cancer several months back, she had been hospitalized, but had requested that her family not be notified. Since neither Sidle child visited their mother, neither had any way of knowing she was becoming weaker by the day as the cancer cells rapidly multiplied and infected more and more of her organs.

Now, Hospice already being called in, she decided she needed to say goodbye to her children. The doctors had given her less than a week to live, and by the time Sara had arrived in San Francisco, 3 of those days had passed.

As angry as Sara was about the events of her childhood, she couldn't help but feel heartbroken that her mother was dying, so slowly and painfully. She hadn't visited her mother since she was transferred from a psychiatric hospital to a women's prison, and within a year of her mother being convicted, she hadn't bothered to even write anymore. Five years after the incident, she had even grown accustomed to forgetting her mother even existed.

The only time it had really struck her that she had no family left was when Nick had been buried alive the summer before. She had seen his parents, worried and inconsolable, and her heart had broken for them. The more she thought about what it would be like if she were in Nick's shoes, the more she realized that only Grissom, Greg, Nick, Warrick, and Catherine would be hoping for her safe return to them. Jaysen would, as always, ignore her, and her mother wouldn't be able to come and show how worried she was for her child's well being.

She probably would have been killed, since Catherine wouldn't have gone out of her way to get the ransom money, and no Sidle on earth had even 10 dollars they would spend on Sara. The thought to this day, nearly a year later, sent chills up and down her spine. Ever since that night, she couldn't help but realize how much she had isolated herself from everybody. She had thought she was happy, that she was protecting herself and others by doing so, but since that night, she realized just how miserable she actually was. Knowing, however, wasn't enough to bring her friends and family back, and she had no idea of how to start mending broken bridges. With her mother, now, she wouldn't even have the chance.

She flipped open the phone book, searching for Jaysen's number. A few seconds later, she was dialing his home number, hoping he would answer.

"_Hello?"_

Sara bit her lip nervously, "Jaysen? It's Sara."

"_I know who you are."_

It wasn't quite the warm welcome she was hoping for, it wasn't even close. She cleared her throat, "Look, I'm at the Radisson, and I was hoping you could come and pick me up."

"_I was wondering if you'd bother to come."_

"Don't be a jackass, Jaysen. If you won't want to pick me up, I'll call a cab." Sara hissed, Jaysen's attitude irritating her quicker than normal from the anxiety she was already feeling, "I just wanted to see my big brother."

"_Oh, just settle down peanut, I'll be there soon."_

"Don't call me that!" Sara said angrily, "You know I hate that!"

"_Okay _Sara_, I'll be there soon. You'd better be waiting out front for me."_

Sara rolled her eyes, "I'll be waiting, Jaysen. See you soon."

She hung up the phone, moving over to her suitcase and unpacking a few outfits, trying to decide what to wear. She couldn't wear the jeans and tank top she had worn on the plane, it was too warm out for that and too sloppy to see her mother and brother for the first time in so many years.

She settled on a pair of brown capri pants and a beige button up shirt, along with a pair of brown sandals. It wasn't the best looking outfit, but it was nice enough to show she was doing alright for herself, yet simple enough so it wouldn't look like she was trying to dress up for them. While she doubted her mother would care, in her condition, she knew Jaysen would have some sort of comment about her clothing.

Looking in the mirror, she debated on whether or not to try and straighten her curls before Jaysen arrived. She quickly decided to just grab her purse and head downstairs, not knowing how far away Jaysen lived and not wanting to keep him waiting.

He had just pulled up when she walked out the front doors of the hotel.

"My, my, little Sara..." Jaysen said, the hostility from his voice fading rapidly as he pulled Sara in for a hug, "Look how much you've grown up. You look great."

Sara blushed, "Thank you, you look amazing as well. Have you been to see her?"

"No, I was sort of waiting for you. I thought it would be easier as a group effort, you know...I'm not looking forward to it, I really never wanted to see her again."

Sara nodded, taking a seat in the car and sighing, "I know exactly what you mean. I never thought I'd see her again, especially not like this. You think it's going to be a fight?"

"When has it ever _not_ been a fight with Mom?" Jaysen asked, snapping his seat belt, "Just prepare for the worst, that way no matter what happens, you can't be disappointed."

Smiling, despite her apprehension about the whole trip, Sara leaned back and let the warm California breeze whip around her as Jaysen sped out of the parking lot. There was no turning back now.

_TBC_


	2. First Steps

_Author's Note: _This is a short chapter, I haven't forgotten about this story, I just got distracted by others. Lol. I do have plans for this one, though, and I'll try to remember to keep focused on it. Hope you guys are still reading, let me know what you think...

_Jenny_

**Chapter Two:**

Sara nudged Jaysen with her elbow, nodding towards the last room of the dimly lit corridor, "229. That's her room."

"You should go first." Jaysen said, the nervousness in his voice matching the trepidation in her eyes, "She always liked you more."

Sara shook her head, "No, no. I look more like Dad than you do, I'll probably just make her mad. Sons and mothers are supposed to have a connection, you should go."

"Do you think we should go grab a bite to eat, then come see her?" Jaysen asked, praying Sara would give in and be irresponsible with him, although he knew she wouldn't.

Sara took a step closer to the door, "We have to see her, Jaysen. We don't really have a choice, we're running out of time. Let's go together."

"Okay." Jaysen agreed, taking a deep breath as he pushed open the door. The room was just as badly lit as the hallway, and even though he wasn't quite sure what he felt for his mother, he was disgusted by the filth and neglect of this hospital ward. She may be a criminal, but she deserved medical care just like everyone else.

One look at his sister's face, and Jaysen knew he wasn't alone in his sentiment.

Both of the younger Sidles jumped when their mother's weak voice spoke, "Who's there?"

Sara felt bile rise in her throat, and she mentally braced herself for the visit to follow. She had been avoiding this for so long, and the closer she got to the bed, she more shaky she felt. She was always an emotional person, and these circumstances were causing it to be more pronounced than ever.

Clearing her throat, she replied in what she hoped wasn't a too shaky voice, "M..Mom? It's Sara and Jaysen."

"I know I couldn't have heard that right, because my children haven't lifted a finger to see me in years." Despite the frailty of the woman's voice, the anger was clear and strong.

Sara grasped Jaysen's hand tightly, taking a step closer to the bed, closer to the demons she had been internally fighting for years, "We wanted to see you..."

"Before I die? Okay, you've seen me, not get out!" Again, though her voice was barely over a whisper, both Jaysen and Sara could hear the hostility firmly planted in her words, "I don't need pity from either of you."

Sara looked nervously to Jaysen, who squeezed her hand reassuringly before speaking, "Sara and I have decided it was time to make amends with you. We aren't here to pity you, we're here for closure."

"Come back next week when they're burying me, and you'll get your closure." Laura Sidle said in her soft, bitter voice, "Or will it be too much out of your hectic lives to attend my funeral?"

The residual anger and resentment Sara had been holding in for the last 20 years resurfaced quickly, and the words she had been thinking left her mouth before she could control herself, "Look, Jaysen and I have put aside our differences to come support you. I dropped everything to come here, I left an excellent job, a wonderful group of friends, and my entire life just so I could try and mend fences with my family. Sure, I may have waited until the last minute, but that doesn't make my feelings any less real. You may not want us around, and you may want to die alone and miserable, but let me guarantee you something, Jaysen and I will be here until you take your last breath, and we will put together a funeral, and we will bury you, and we _will _get closure."

"Sara's right, Mom," Jaysen added, "You took away our childhood, and you've shadowed over our adulthood. We're making peace with you so we don't end up in the same situation you are in 20 years. We could have let you rot in this bed without even trying to see you, but we didn't. And, like Sara said, whether you want us to be here or not, we're here. We didn't get a chance to say goodbye to Dad before he died, and we're not willing to lose another parent without saying goodbye."

The room was silent for a moment, before Laura's weak voice replied, "Leave it to the two of you to make this about yourselves. Nothing has ever been about you, my situation with your father, me being in jail, us losing contact. All of that was between me and your father, you two are not victims. Grow up, move on, and go home for heaven's sake, I do not want to have any part of your pity party."

Jaysen took a step away from the bed, clearly ready to obey his mother's wishes, leave and never come back, but Sara had other plans.

She sat next to her mother, taking the older woman's shaky hand into her own, "You're wrong. Sure, you may have done what you did because of everything going on between you and Dad, but Jaysen and I had to deal with the fallout, just like you did. So, yes, we were victims, yes, it is about us, and while we've tried to hide from our past for twenty years, we're ready to face you and all of our problems."

She was silent for a moment as she tried to steady her voice and keep the tears away, "You may not want to see us, but we have to see you, otherwise we'll never get over this and we'll be victims forever. Jaysen and I aren't going to allow you to have that power over us anymore. We need to move on, and you need to help us. You owe it to us to help us."

"I don't owe either of you anything," Laura replied, so softly that Sara had to lean in to hear, "You two owe me the world. It was only a matter of time before he started beating you, I saved the two of you from growing up to be just like him. I sacrificed my freedom to protect the two of you. You may have not gotten to live in the house you were born in, with the parents who brought you into the world, but you two never had to endure the pain and scars that your father dealt to me on a regular basis. Stop thinking of yourselves, for a change."

Jaysen stood next to Sara, looking down on his mother. With a soft voice, he replied, "We did have to endure pain and scars, but unlike yours, ours are on the inside. We're going to leave now, but we'll be back tomorrow."

"Don't waste your trip, I won't see you!" Laura called out with a raspy voice as her children walked towards the door, "You ungrateful little-"

The door shut behind them as Jaysen led Sara into the hall, both of their eyes glistening with tears. Jaysen looked towards the restrooms, dabbing at his eye a bit, "I'm going to the restroom."

"Me too." Sara replied, grateful for the privacy it would give her. She made it to the first stall, sinking to the floor with sobs, despite her usual phobia about the cleanliness of public bathrooms. Today, she didn't care. The tears were falling faster than she could ever remember them falling before. She knew it would be hard to visit her mother, she just didn't know how hard it would be.

Her cell phone started ringing, and she struggled to contain her tears while she answered, "Hello?"

"_Sara, is that you? What's wrong?"_

Sara wiped her eyes, trying to steady her breathing and stop the flow of tears which just seemed to be getting stronger by the minute, "Everything's okay, Greg. What do you need?"

"_Grissom told me where you were, and what you were doing."_

"Don't even think about coming out here, Greg, it will only make things worse." Sara warned, not yet ready to face her colleagues over the demons of her past, "I...I'll be back in a few weeks, I promise. I'm not staying."

"_I'm going to come and support you, no matter what you say. I'm a CSI, remember? I can easily coerce someone into helping me find you. You're my best friend, Sara, and friends help each other out. No offense, but you don't really sound like you're handling things too well on your own."_

"Gee, thanks Greg." Sara replied sarcastically, wiping her eyes once more, "I really don't want to have half the team down here trying to get me to come home."

"_I didn't say I was bringing half the team, I've got vacation time coming up and I was thinking that San Francisco is a great place to visit. I love Cali...but I'm sure if everyone knew where you were, they'd be dragging you back too. Nick and Warrick are so sad that you're gone, although I'm not going to lie, they're a bit PO'ed that you left without telling them."_

"I assumed as much." Sara whispered, taking a few more steading breaths and rising to her feet, "Just don't expect me to be in a good mood, or even a 'decent' mood."

"_Believe me, I have a pretty good idea of what I'm getting myself into. I'll see you tomorrow, Sar."_

"Bye Greg." Sara replied, hanging up her phone with a sigh. She had to admit, talking to Greg had made her feel a bit better. While she still wanted to cry, she was able to hold back the tears. Once alone in her hotel room, however, she wasn't sure she'd be able to fight them anymore.

Deciding Jaysen was probably waiting for her, she splashed some water on her face and braced herself once more for the flood of emotions that always seemed to overwhelm her when her family was involved.

She met her brother in the hallway, noticing that he looked just about as bad as she felt. She squeezed his hand, "So, do you want to go grab a drink or something?"

"As a matter of fact," Jaysen replied, "I was just about to ask you the same thing."

Together, they walked down the corridor and outside onto the street, both knowing they'd have to face their past again tomorrow, but comforted by the knowledge that they wouldn't have to do it alone.

_TBC_


	3. The Morning After

I know, this hasn't been updated in AGES...but here's anew chapter for you, and now that I've gotten this part out, the next should be easier to write. I guess once the writer's block goes away, everything comes out much easier.

Please reply and let me know if you are still reading this, and if you want me to continue...

Jenny

**Chapter Three:**

Sara signaled to the bartender that she had Jaysen needed another round of tequila, laughing as Jaysen impersonated his ex-wife, Cheryl.

"She couldn't have been that bad," Sara laughed, gasping for breath, "No one can be that bad, Jase."

Jaysen's eyes were wide as he countered, "Don't tell me you haven't had a boyfriend like that."

"Oh, please," Sara retorted, slamming back her shot of tequila and pulling the next one towards her with a shudder, "Just how many boyfriends do you think I've had? No one wants the geeky work-a-holic, Jase."

Jaysen rolled his eyes, "Sure, no one wants a beautiful woman," He stacked his empty shot glass beside his sister's, raising his next one to her, "You just tell me who doesn't want you, and I'll go kick their ass."

"I've had one boyfriend in the last five years." Sara stated after a long pause and a heavy sigh, "One. You've been married, divorced, in so many serious relationships. How do you do it?"

"Do what? Date? It's not that hard, Sara, 13 year old girls do it all the time." Jaysen teased, "Maybe you just haven't found the right one."

Sara shrugged, sighing once more, "How do you open yourself up to someone completely? Trust them with everything?"

"I don't know." Jaysen replied softly, "I just do."

Sara raised the shot glass to her lips, sadly gulping the burning liquid down, "I've tried...I really have, but the closer anyone gets to me, the more scared I am to trust them."

"Not everyone will be like Mom and Dad, there are a few good guys out there, you just need to find the right one." Jaysen said softly as he slammed back another shot, "Don't find a boyfriend and then grow close to him, find a friend you can trust, who you are attracted to, and run with it. If he's a true friend, if it doesn't work out, you'll still have your friendship."

Sara motioned to the bartender for another round, but Jaysen grabbed her hand and shook his head, "It's time to go, we've both had enough."

"I guess you're right." Sara agreed, slightly slurring her words. She pulled out her wallet, but Jaysen covered her hand and shook his head.

"This one's on me." he said firmly, throwing a few bills onto the bar, surveying their damages. A quick estimate had them at about 30 shots, although he didn't care enough to do a detailed count. Steadying a swaying Sara, he led her towards the hotel elevators.

Sara stumbled into the elevator, leaning against the elevator wall and closing her eyes, "You're going to stay the night? I don't want you to get in an accident on the way home."

"Sounds like a good idea." Jaysen admitted, rubbing his forehead tiredly, "I don't think I could drive even if I wanted to."

Half an hour later, Sara was nestled snugly into her bed while Jaysen had passed out on the couch, both able to sleep peacefully as the alcohol numbed their minds of the day's events.

--

Greg knocked nervously on Sara's hotel room door, unsure of what to expect. Yesterday, she seemed like she was falling apart, but Sara was always a complex person to read. He could only hope that she would open up to him and trust him enough to let him help her.

He knocked again, growing antsy as he got no response. Just as he was about to knock a third time, the door opened to reveal a disheveled brunette male, exposing a bare chest as he yawned tiredly, "Yes?"

"I'm looking for Sara..." Greg said softly, "Maybe I have the wrong room."

The man yawned again, stretching as he swung the door open, "No man, come on in, you must be the elusive Greg."

"I wouldn't say elusive, but last time I checked, I was Greg." Greg replied nervously, unsure of who this man was and where Sara was at.

A few seconds later, the sounds of vomiting filtered through the bathroom door, leading the man to say simply, "She had a little too much to drink last night."

"Sounds like it." Greg replied, "You look a little worse for the wear, yourself."

"Needed something to chase the memories away. I'm Jaysen, by the way, Sara's older brother."

Greg nodded, things slowly starting to make sense. He turned as the bathroom door opened and Sara stumbled into the bedroom, blushing as she spotted Greg. She tugged self consciously at her pajama top, looking down at the ground, "Greg, I didn't expect you until later."

"It's almost noon." Greg replied, a smirk on his face, "Rough night?"

Sara rolled her eyes, "Shut up. I see you've met Jaysen."

Greg nodded, sitting on the bed next to Sara, "Are you going to visit her today?"

"I sort of have to." Sara muttered, "There's not much time left."

Jaysen groaned, walking towards the window and looking down over the city, "I have a feeling she'll be even less receptive than she was yesterday. She's had all night to think of new excuses to ignore us, new hateful things to accuse us of."

"Can't really blame her, we did blatantly ignore her for years." Sara whispered, rubbing her head tiredly, "I'm already tired of this and I've only been back for a day."

Silence filled the air, and after a few seconds, Sara jumped to her feet and rushed back into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her. In the main room, Jaysen turned to stare at Greg, "So what's going on between you and my sister?"

"She's my best friend." Greg replied, "That's it. We're not dating or anything."

"She seems to like you a lot." Jaysen pressed, hardening his stare slightly, "She's been through a lot in her life, I don't want to find out you're giving her trouble."

Greg shrank in his seat slightly, his cheeks burning red. He wouldn't deny that Jaysen scared him, more than just a little. Sara had never spoke of her family, and it really made him wonder if Jaysen was this overprotective of his little sister or perhaps just a bit psychotic. "I'd never hurt Sara. We're best friends, I told you. I'd die for her."

"That's good to know." Jaysen said cooly.

Greg jumped slightly as Sara spoke from right behind him, "Jase, you're scaring him."

"I'm not scared." Greg said quickly, although his voice betrayed him. He turned to face Sara, "You okay?"

Rolling her eyes, Sara replied, "I'm never drinking again. I've learned my lesson." She walked to the dresser, rifling through her clothes until she found something that matched, "Okay, you need to scram while I change." She smiled towards Greg, "That means you too, Greg."

Greg's face flushed again as he rose, moving towards the door, "I'll be down in the lobby."

"I'll walk you down." Jaysen added, slipping on his shoes and running his fingers through his messy hair, "I'll probably scare all of the customers away."

Greg forced a small laugh as he and Jaysen exited the room. He wasn't quite sure what to do now that he was alone with the other man. He was spared from conversation, thankfully, as Jaysen's cell phone rang. He flipped out the phone, answering gruffly, "Sidle."

The gruff man was silent for awhile before asking in a chillingly cold tone, "When?...We'll be right down."

He slammed his phone closed, shoving it into his pocket. Turning towards Greg, he shook his head, "Stick around, Sara may need you. Our mother just passed away."

Greg couldn't help but notice the lack of emotion Jaysen used when talking about his mother, and wondered if Sara had the same pent up hostility towards the woman. Sure, she had done some horrible things, but even if his mother had been as awful as Laura Sidle had been, he couldn't imagine not being upset about her death.

Jaysen knocked on the door, a scowl on his pale, unshaven face. Sara opened the door, still in her pajamas, "What? I was just about to get into the shower."

Jaysen was silent, and Sara's eyes welled up with tears immediately. "Mom?"

"She's gone."

Sara's legs began to shake and she dropped to her knees, burying her face in her hands as she began to cry. Both men watched for a moment, frozen in their spots. After a few seconds, though, Jaysen turned to look at Greg, "What the hell are you waiting for?"

Greg rushed to Sara's side, wrapping his arms around her and helping her to her feet, leading her to the bed while Jaysen pulled the phone book out of the flimsy wooden desk. There were arrangements to be made, and now that his sister was being looked after, he'd be able to get everything done and get this process over with.

Stealing a glance at the two, huddled together on the bed, Jaysen couldn't help but give a small smile. She had spent hours bitching the night before that she didn't have a boyfriend, yet here she was in Greg's arms, oblivious to his attraction to her. Jotting down the number to the funeral home he had selected, he slid into the hall to give Greg and Sara their privacy while he made the necessary arrangements.

_TBC..._


	4. Revelations

Hello readers, here's chapter four of this slow-moving story. I've battled writer's block, and I have emerged the champion! Hope to get another chapter out this weekend, with the right motivation.

This chapter is extremely fluffy. Enjoy it while it lasts, that's all I can say.

Jenny

**Forgive Chapter Four:**

"I don't know why I'm so upset." Sara murmured into Greg's shirt, "I hadn't seen my mother in years. She ruined my life. I should be relieved that it's finally over."

Greg pulled back, looking down into her eyes, "You always love your parents. No matter how horrid they are, no matter who they are or what they've done, you still love them. You've lost the person who gave you life, you're supposed to feel sad."

"Jaysen isn't crying like a baby, he's taking care of what needs to be done. He's been out there, buying a casket, arranging a funeral service, getting her gravesite ready...and for the last three days, all I've done is stay in here with you and cry. I'm still a failure to her, even though she's gone." Sara said softly, pulling away from Greg and flopping down against her pillow, "It's disgusting. I never thought I'd cry like this when she died. I didn't even cry like this when my father died."

"It's a different circumstance, Sara." Greg said soothingly, "You're feeling guilty because you hadn't been to see her since you were a kid, you're depressed because your last parent just died. You've had to face your brother whom you haven't seen in years. It's very overwhelming."

Sara shook her head, "I've handled worse without falling apart."

"Maybe that's because you had no one to hold you together while you fell apart." Greg suggested quietly, "Face it, how many men's shoulders have you cried on?"

Sara gave a small laugh, "There was Jaysen's, when we were real young. There was Grissom, although there weren't any shoulders involved. And now there's you. Three?"

"It's a lot easier to be honest with yourself when you know someone's on your side." Greg offered, rolling onto his side to face her, "And while you're strong, independent, and stubborn, you have to admit it's nice to let go of control for awhile."

Sara shrugged, her cheeks turning pink, "I guess so."

"Do you know what you need?"

"What?" Sara asked, a smile on her lips as she watched Greg's serious face break into a grin. "Please tell me, Mister know-it-all."

Greg laughed, pulling her into a sitting position, "You need food. You've remained cooped up in this room for days, you need some fresh air, some sunlight, and a good, heart meal full of comfort foods."

"I'm not hungry." Sara replied, although the growling of her stomach told a different story. She smiled, rolling her eyes as he raised his eyebrows, "Okay, I'm a little hungry."

Greg stood, slipping on his shoes and grabbing his keys, "I know a great restaurant right outside of town. You'll love it. And after that, we'll go for a walk along the coast."

"What if I want to stay here and wallow in self-pity and misery?" Sara asked, picking her sandals up off the floor, "Then what do you suggest?"

Greg smiled mischievously, "Don't think you're getting off the hook that easy. If you insist on staying in this drab hotel room, I'll order in pizza and we can play cards." He watched as she slid on her sandals, and walked to the dresser, checking her appearance in the mirror, "Although it looks like you'll take me up on my offer."

"I suppose you'll want to drive." Sara replied, picking up her brush and running it through her hair. "Can you keep it safe?"

"I made it through a nine hour drive to get here, didn't I? You don't trust me for a half hour trip?" Greg asked, rolling his eyes. "Don't be difficult, try to relax."

With only a moment of hesitation, Sara followed Greg out of the hotel room, slipping her room key into her pocket before shutting the door.

--

Sara took a bite of her salad, running her feet through the sand, "I love the ocean."

"Me too." Greg replied, "When I lived in New York, we would take the subway down to Brooklyn and enjoy the summer on the beach. The beaches there weren't nearly as nice as they are here, but it was still a lot of fun."

Sara smiled, watching the waves crash along the shore, "I grew up on the beach, Jaysen and I were always in the sand or in the water, any reason to stay out of our parents way. Looking at how pale my skin is now, you'd never believe I used to have a year-long tan."

"I can believe it." Greg replied, "Growing up, I was torn between wanting to stay inside and read or play with my science set--I was a total geek--and wanting to run outside with my sister, Nicole, and play. There's nothing like the roar of the ocean to take all of your stress away.

Sara nodded, tracing the letter "S" with her toes, "Thank you for being here for me."

"Where else would I be? You can't go through this alone, and no offence, but you and your brother are polar opposites." Greg replied, taking her hand into his own, "You're my best friend. I'd die for you."

Squeezing his hand, Sara said with a soft, sad smile, "Hopefully you won't have to." She finished her salad, taking a sip of water before asking, "What are we going to do after we're done here? Still up for a walk on the beach?"

"Of course I am." Greg replied, retrieving two twenties from his wallet and leaving them on the table as he helped Sara to her feet, "Shoes?"

"I'll carry them" Sara responded, wiggling her toes into the sand, "There's nothing like the warm sand between your toes," She motioned towards the sky, "It's going to be getting dark soon."

Greg nodded, watching the pink and orange sky, "It's okay, I know my way back." He joked, "I love sunset, everything just seems to calm down."

"Unless you're back in Vegas." Sara retorted, "I'm not sure if I want to go back."

Greg stopped walking, dropping her hand, "You aren't coming back?"

"I don't know. Now that Mom's gone, I don't feel the same." Sara replied, sorrow evident in her voice, "I don't know what I want. I feel so lost."

Greg wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her close, "Give it some time to process before making any rash decisions. I'd miss you like crazy if you didn't come home."

"What makes your home a home, anyway?" Sara replied, staring out into the sea, "I grew up in California, I lived in Boston for 4 years, I've been in Vegas for 6. What makes it a home?"

Greg rubbed her arm with his hand as she shivered slightly, "The people who love you, the people who you love. The people who would go crazy if they couldn't see you every day and experience the severity of the 'Sidle Mood Swing'."

"So, you've named it now?" Sara asked, a soft smile on her lips, "I don't know if I fit in anywhere. It took me so long to become a part of the group in the lab...how do you know if you belong there, or if you've just been there so long that you think you belong?"

Greg stopped, staring into Sara's sad face as he pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, "Believe me, you belong. The guys went nuts when they found out you left."

"It was just a change, that doesn't mean anything." Sara replied, "I'd be upset if Bobby left ballistics, but that doesn't mean I'd invite him to Christmas dinner. Any change is hard to accept at first."

Greg took her hand into his own, "You don't need to make any major changes right now. Take a few weeks to think about it, and be sure it's what you really want."

"Look at the sunset over the ocean, how can you not want this?" Sara asked, "Why on Earth would I want to leave this to go back to the over-glamorized cesspool we live in? When is it ever this calm in Vegas?"

Greg smiled softly, squeezing her hand, "And what will you do if you move here? Get a job as a CSI? You've done that already, you know there are just as many murderers and rapists here as there are at home. You won't get to stroll along the beach, you'll be retrieving bodies from the ocean. You'll be doing the exact same thing you're doing at home, except you won't have any friends by your side."

"You really want me to stay, don't you?" Sara asked, stopping and turning to look at Greg, "Why does it mean this much to you?"

Greg took a deep breath, his hands trembling as he blurted out, "Because I _love_ you Sara!"

TBC


	5. Shock

_Author's Notes: Well, I worked on updating ALL of my other stories this week, and I didn't want anyone who is reading this to feel put out, so I decided to force myself to sit down and write this chapter. _

_I've been told that I'm sending Greg and Sara on a torture spree...and, well, maybe I have...lol...and this one is chock-full of angst as well. Face it, I work in the coroner's office, I don't do happy. :-) _

_If anyone is still reading this, raise your hand so I can be amazed. Lol. Hope you enjoy!_

_This chapter goes out to my wonderful pal Emmithar, who is usually the torn in my side to sit down and focus. Amazingly enough, even when she isn't around, she's still able to nag me through esp or something. Lol. Anyway, she's my inspiration, and the one who turned me on to Sandle angst. Blame her. LOL. _

_Jenny_

**Chapter Five:**

"You...you what?" Sara asked incredulously, her eyes wide as she took a step back, "What did you just say?"

Greg sighed, this was not the response he was hoping for. Looking away, he muttered, "I said I loved you, but I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. Just forget I said anything. Let's go back to the hotel."

He started to walk away, fully aware that Sara was still standing still. Her voice traveled far on the empty beach as she called out, "So that's it? Forget you just told me that you loved me? Go back like nothing happened?"

"What do you want me to do?" Greg asked, taking a step towards her, "I can tell by the look on your face that you don't feel the same way. At least if we forget about it, I can salvage a shred of my dignity and our friendship won't be ruined."

Sara crossed her arms over her chest, shivering slightly, "Our friendship isn't in danger. I'm just...floored. Where did this come from?"

"I've always loved you." Greg whispered, "I can't remember a time where I didn't."

Tears welled in Sara's eyes and she sank onto the sand, her knees bent and her hands running through her hair, "Why...why now?"

"You asked why I didn't want you to leave." Greg said softly, "I..I just felt like it was the right time." He sat down beside her, yet far enough away to give her some space.

Sara gave a short, dry laugh, "Greg, my Mom just died. I don't know what I'm thinking, what I'm feeling. Why would now be a good time?"

"I don't know." Greg replied once more, shaking his head, "It was stupid, I shouldn't have said it. Please don't hold it against me...I have bad timing."

Sara sighed, trailing her fingers through the sand as she tried to sort out her thoughts, "I honestly have no idea what to say."

"You don't have to say anything." Greg replied softly, staring out into the ocean, "I'm sorry."

Sara shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself self-consciously, "Just take me back to the hotel, okay?"

"If that's what you want--"

"It's what I want." Sara interrupted, turning back to the direction they had came from, "I just need some time to think."

Greg nodded, walking silently beside her as they made their way back to the car. He had really stuck his foot in it now.

--

Sara sat cross legged on her bed, staring down at an old photo album Jaysen had left for her at the front desk. As she flipped through page after page of her childhood, it became harder and harder to hold back her tears.

When she remembered growing up, all she was able to focus on was the tears, the screaming matches, the numerous blows, the blood...all leading up to that one fateful night where her life was turned upside down.

It wasn't until she started studying the pictures that a few brighter moments entered her mind, leaving her quasi-reminiscent and heavy hearted. She traced her finger along the edge of her father's face, studying it carefully to determine that on this particular day, he wasn't drunk, at least not yet. Her mother wore a genuine smile, her young eyes reflecting in the bright sunlight. Jaysen was making a face towards the camera, causing the much younger Sara to laugh delightedly as the picture was taken.

It took her awhile to place where the picture had been taken, but after studying the background, she determined they had to be at the annual Sidle family barbeque. Her father's family wasn't very sociable, they were all busy people who led their own lives, not having time to be inconvenienced with traveling to an Aunt or Cousin's house for the holidays. Instead of numerous small family functions throughout the year, they'd all gather for one weekend during the summer to catch up on each other's lives.

The barbeque was usually a weekend of relief for Sara, Jaysen, and their mother, seeing as how their father had to make sure his family didn't show up with any bruises or unexplainable injuries, and hanging out with her cousins was usually a lot of fun.

She frowned as she remembered how none of her Aunts or Uncles had wanted to take her and Jaysen in after her father's death, how at school her cousins pretended like she didn't exist. It had actually been a relief to be sent away to her first foster family, just to escape the stigma she had been given at her school, by people who were supposed to love her.

She shut the book with a heavy sigh, pushing it off to the side as she laid on her back, facing the ceiling. Things were happening so quickly, and she wasn't quite sure how she felt about anything.

The phone rang, but she didn't make a move to answer it. It was probably Greg, and she wasn't in the mood to talk to him right now. It wasn't that she was angry that he told her that he loved her, it was very flattering, it was just so inappropriate for this time of her life. There was no way that she could be someone's girlfriend right now, she barely knew who she was.

She knew she probably blew her chances at ever having anything when Greg when she pushed him away, and with a groan, she rolled onto her side to stare out the large window over the busy city. She had just completely alienated the only man who had shown any interest in her since her relationship with Hank. Could things get any worse?

Her phone rang again, and instead of reaching to answer it, she pulled her pillow over her head to muffle the irritated scream that came from her body. All she wanted was a few minutes alone to reflect on what had happened, berate herself, and formulate a corrective action plan. Was that so much to ask for?

As the phone rang for a third time, she slammed the pillow into the wall, answering the phone with a growl, "What!"

"Hey, calm down. What's wrong?" Jaysen's worried voice asked, "Are you okay?"

Sara threw herself back down on the bed, slightly whining, "Didn't you get the hint when I didn't answer the first time?"

"This is first time I called. What's wrong? Is Greg giving you trouble?" Jaysen asked worriedly, "Do you need me to _take care_ of him for you?"

Sara groaned, shutting her eyes as she replied, "No, I think I'm the one giving the trouble here. Greg's been nothing but great, and I'm being such a...such a...girl!"

"Well, Sara, I hate to tell you this--"

"Shut up Jase."

"Are you up for some company? I'll bring Chinese..."

Sara quickly cut him off, snapping, "No!" She paused, taking a deep breath, "I just need some time alone, to breathe and gather my thoughts. I'm, well, I'm not used to being around people so much, and I miss my alone time."

"Not a problem, sis, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Thanks." Sara said softly, hanging the phone up and stretching out on her bed, closing her eyes tiredly.

She was just beginning to doze off when the phone rang again. With a growl of frustration, she stomped to the phone, answering it with a sharp, "What now?"

"Excuse me, mam?" A strong voice replied over the phone.

Anxiety gripping briefly at her chest, Sara muttered, "Yes?"

"Mam, do you know a Greg Sanders?"

Anxiety quickly transformed into a heavy sense of fear as she sank onto her bed, "Yes, I do."

"Mam, this is Glenn Harrison with the San Francisco Police Department. There's been an accident. Your number was found in his car, and we need someone to identify the victim..."

_TBC..._


	6. Even More Revelations

_Author's Notes: Sorry it took me so long to get this out, I'm having horrible writer's block with this story. To everyone who's relentlessly hounded me on this, and those of you who only brought it up a few times, this goes out to you!_

_Thank you for the response I've gotten so far...hope you continue to read and enjoy. This one goes out to Emmithar, for trying to hard to get me to focus. _

_Jenny_

**Chapter Six:**

Sara sat in a dark corner of the hotel bar, slamming back another shot of whiskey. It wasn't a drink she'd normally ask for, but tonight she had to ease her mind and forget about everything.

Her cell phone buzzed in her pocket, but she no move to answer it. The one person she wanted to talk to, she wouldn't be able to, and no one else was nearly as important.

She signaled for another round of shots, she had been going through three at a time, and the bartender obliged, filling her glasses while studying the sullen brunette.

"You look like you're holding the weight of the world on your shoulders, kid." he spoke gruffly, "In the morning you'll be wishing you hadn't gone through half a bottle of whiskey."

"In the morning, I'll be fine." Sara replied, swallowing one shot, not bothered by the bitter taste any longer. "There are other customers, you know."

The bartender took a step back, shrugging slightly, "I'm curious to see how you'll walk out of here after what you've had. Last round, kid."

"Stop calling me that." Sara snapped, slamming the second empty shot glass down on the counter, "Are you really going to cut me off after just a few shots?"

The bartender raised an eyebrow, looking down at Sara's angry face, "A few? Try 15, kid."

With a heavy sigh, Sara flung her credit card onto the bar, taking the last shot before reaching for her cell phone, which was once again vibrating.

"What!" She snapped into the phone, not bothering to check the caller ID.

"Where the hell are you?" Jaysen's angry voice asked, "I've been looking for you all morning. Do you have any idea how worried I've been?"

"Go to hell." Sara replied, snapping her phone closed as she tried to sign her name on the credit card receipt. After a few failed attempts, she scribbled a few letters and stood, her knees instantly buckling beneath her.

She grabbed the barstool, trying to steady her shaking legs enough to get her to the elevator, then up to her room where she could pass out in peace. She let go of the barstool and her knees grew weak again. The only thing saving her from hitting the floor was a pair of strong arms that wrapped around her waist to support her.

"My God? How much did you drink?" Jaysen's cool, angry voice asked, "Are you trying to turn into our parents?"

Sara pulled away from Jaysen, stumbling towards the doorway, "Leave me alone!"

"Leave you alone to kill yourself with alcohol?" Jaysen snapped angrily, "I don't think so, little sister. What the hell is your problem?"

Sara felt a few tears fall onto her cheeks, but she made no move to wipe them away. She leaned against the wall, biting down on her lip as large tears began to slide down her cheeks.

"Where is Greg? He's supposed to be keeping an eye on you. He promised me--when I get my hands on him--"

At the mention of Greg's name, Sara started to sob, sinking to the floor and attracting the attention of the entire bar. Jaysen made an attempt to get her into a standing position, but failed miserably as her knees buckled beneath her. With a groan, he scooped her into his arms, carrying her towards the elevator.

"Let me go." Sara sobbed, trying to untangle herself from his arms, "Jase, let me go!"

Once in the elevator, he helped her stand, propped up against the wall while they ascended to her floor. When they reached their destination, he roughly pulled her out of the elevator, halfway dragging her back to her room, pushing her inside once he unlocked the door.

"What the hell is the matter with you?"Jaysen yelled as Sara collapsed onto her bed, "I've been trying to call you all night, and when I find you, you're three sheets to the wind in the bar? And what's what that huge scene you caused? Are you out of your mind? Where the hell is that little twerp that's supposed to be watching you?"

"I don't need a babysitter." Sara said defiantly.

Jaysen laughed bitterly, "Right, because you're doing so well on your own."

"You don't know anything!" Sara sobbed, "Greg--he--and--"

Jaysen's tone softened a bit as he took a step towards his sister, who was obviously falling apart, "What did he do?"

"There was an accident." Sara managed to spit out before overwhelmed with tears again, "They needed me to identify him."

Jaysen knelt in front of her, squeezing her hand tightly, "Did you go? Is he..."

"I couldn't!" Sara screamed, pulling away from him and covering her face with her hands, "I couldn't do it! I froze up, I gave the guy Grissom's number--he's my supervisor in Vegas—and hung up. I--I can't--I--"

Jaysen grabbed Sara's shoulders, pulling her into a tight embrace as her warm tears began to trickle onto his shoulders, "Shh, I know, it's hard. There's so much going on, it's so overwhelming. I'm sorry I yelled at you, I didn't know...I was scared to death when you didn't show up for Mom's funeral, I thought you had done something crazy or stupid, I kept trying to call you, I was so scared I lost you too."

"I'm sorry." Sara sobbed onto his shoulder, clinging tightly to her older brother, "I didn't want to scare you. I just...I don't know what to do."

"It's okay." Jaysen whispered, rocking her back and forth gently as she cried.

It was just like when they were kids. Something horrible would happen, causing Sara to lose control and come apart, and he would be right there to pick up the pieces. He felt a pang of remorse in his chest as he realized he had failed to keep his promises of always being there for her.

For the last few days, he had started to realize more and more that Sara had grown up to be a totally different person. Gone was the little girl who would climb into his bed after a nightmare woke her up, gone was the child who trusted him to make her world better. In her place stood a strong woman, who was just afraid to let anyone in to see the skeletons in her closet.

"I'm here now, I can make this better." Jaysen whispered, stroking her hair gently as she began to quiet down, "I promise you, I'll find a way to make this better."

--

"Mr. Grissom, I'm Dr. Levine, I am the attending physician for Mr. Sanders."

"How is he?" Grissom asked worriedly, tapping his foot against the linoleum floor anxiously, "Will he make it?"

Grissom waited for the doctor's answer, his heart pounding madly as he tried to make sense of this situation. Greg had come to see Sara, and was leaving alone. They had called Sara, who had refused to ID the body. Now, a day later, they still had no news on the condition of his young employee. Medical knowledge had come a long way, but there was still so much to be learned.

"He's stable right now, but he's in a coma. We aren't sure of the amount of brain damage he sustained, and we probably won't know until he does wake up, if he wakes up."

"If he wakes up?"

The doctor tapped his chart softly, looking at Grissom as he spoke, "Coma patients are very tricky to predict. Sometimes they can remain unconscious for a week, a month, a year, 15 years...There's no real way to predict it. His scans show that the damage isn't too severe, so I'm hoping he will wake up in a relatively short amount of time, but I can't be certain."

"Is there anything I can do?" Grissom asked, "I've heard that talking to coma patients is helpful...?"

The doctor shrugged slightly, "It's not scientifically proven to rouse someone from a comatose state, but I certainly wouldn't discourage it. A lot of doctors feel that a loving presence will help speed things along."

"Thank you, doctor."

"He's in room 418, visiting hours end at 9:30."

--

Sara's cell phone vibrated between brother and sister, but neither acknowledged it's presence as Jaysen continued to soothe a calming Sara.

"Jase, I can't lose him."

"I know, honey." Jaysen soothed, "He's your best friend."

Sara shook her head forcefully, sobbing slightly harder, "He's more than that. He told me he loved me, and I got mad at him. I made him leave. He could be dead for all I know, and the last thing I did was yell at him and tell him to leave me alone. He may never get to know that I love him too."

"You what?" Jaysen asked, pulling away slightly, "Did you just--?"

Sara nodded, replying into Jaysen's shoulder, "I love him. I really love him, and it scares the hell out of me."

_TBC_


	7. Returning Home

_Author's Notes: Wow, almost 2 months with no update. I'm so sorry for the delay, guys! I hope someone's still reading this, raise your hand if you are. I'm embarrassed to see that over the last year I've only managed seven chapters. Eeks! I hope that the horrible writer's block that always seems to manifest itself with this story has now crumbled to pebbles, and I want you all to know I'm going to try to get these chapters out faster. _

_Thank you to all who's still reading!_

_Jenny_

**Chapter Seven:**

Greg eased himself onto the break room sofa, taking a sip of his hot coffee as he waited for the others to trickle in. Although six months had passed since his accident, he still found himself stiff and uncomfortable if he remained in one position too long. It wasn't interfering with his work, but it was mildly irritating to say the least. A light flickered above him, and he closed his eyes, inhaling the wonderful odor of his overly expensive coffee blend. He hoped it would be a slow night, he had been having trouble focusing since coming back to work a week prior.

He had to hand it to Grissom, the man may not seem like a friendly guy, but he had been a lifesaver for Greg while the younger man was recovering from his injuries. Grissom had kindly offered to stay with him until he was released from the hospital, and had driven him back to Vegas, where he made sure Greg's medical needs were taken care of. Now that Greg was back at work, Grissom had been keeping a close eye on him, keeping his hours abbreviated and his work load light. Although Greg would have never asked for the break, he was relieved that Grissom had seen he needed the time to ease back into things.

Physically, he was as healed as he was going to get. After a 2 week stint in the hospital, the majority of it lying in a coma, he had been released bandaged and bruised to return to Vegas, where his medical care had remained steady and painful. The physical therapy and battery of testing hadn't been nearly as challenging as the intense emotional pain he had been subject to as more and more days passed with no word on Sara.

Grissom had informed him that she refused to go to the hospital to see him while he was under the care of San Francisco's finest neurological team. He patiently waited, wondering if she had been too nervous, too ashamed, too angry to stop by or call, but as the days slowly passed, his curiosity had bloomed into bitter resentment. He couldn't believe she had abandoned him when he needed a friend the most, separated from the others by the Nevada/California border. He couldn't fathom what was going through her mind, the concept of forgetting one of her best friends existed. Even during his most violent and angry spats with friends in the past, he couldn't imagine not feeling anything if they had been hurt.

Still, he held on to the hope that things would change when he returned to Vegas. Maybe she didn't know what hospital he was in? Maybe she was already on her way back home? Maybe she had somehow gotten lost between the hotel and the hospital and couldn't find her way back? All were as improbable as the next, and as he nestled back into his apartment for a long recovery, he had started to give up hope that she'd bother to contact him.

The couch shifted as someone sat beside him, alerting Greg that the room was now bustling with activity. Turning his tired eyes to Nick, he managed a slight smile, "Hey."

"You look awful, man, rough night?" Nick asked, his voice the epitome of concern, "Are you having trouble sleeping?"

The truth was, Greg hadn't managed a decent night's rest in months, but he wasn't about to tell that to any of his friends. Instead, he shrugged with a half smile, "Nah, I'm fine."

Nick looked as if he wasn't sure he believed Greg's statement, but shrugged it off with, "Well, if you ever need anything, you know where to find me."

Greg nodded glumly, staring down into his coffee once more. He was sick of people walking on eggshells around him, he was sick of the whispers as he lagged behind the rest of the group while walking because of his hip injuries, he was sick of Hodges asking him daily if he was ready to move back into the lab. The one stupid decision to try and get through to his friend, the woman he was in love with, had cost him not only that friend, but his dignity, self-respect, and full mobility as well.

As Grissom walked into the room, Greg stiffly stood, his hip sore from the angle he had been sitting. He knew better than to sit on that damn sofa, while comfortable at the time, it always wreaked havoc once it was time to move around once more. Standing beside the table, he waited to see if Grissom had anything new for him, or if it was back to one of the secluded labs to work on his previous case in peaceful, quiet solitude.

"Catherine, Warrick, B&E in Henderson. Nick, I need a progress report on the Antoinelli case on my desk within the next hour. Greg, continue with your homicide from last night." Grissom instructed, handing Warrick a slip of paper, "I'll be in my office if anyone needs anything."

With a heavy sigh, Greg made his way towards one of the small labs he had claimed as his own the night before, a headache forming as he realized what a long shift awaited him.

--

Sara pulled her key out of the ignition, taking a steadying breath as she stared at the familiar building before her. Her hand trembled slightly as she tried to remember exactly what she'd tell Grissom when she walked through those doors. She wanted her job back. She needed her job back. The last six months in San Francisco with her brother had made it clear that she belonged in Vegas with the people she had come to recognize as her family.

She had enjoyed spending time with Jaysen, spending the majority of her time living with him in his home, but it was painfully clear that the two would never be able to fully recapture the close relationship they had shared as children. It hadn't taken long before she started going stir-crazy, but without officially resigning from her position in Vegas, she hadn't been able to get a job with the San Francisco Crime Lab. She wasn't even sure she wanted to. Vegas was her home now, it was where she had finally distanced herself from her past, from her demons which seemed to flourish under the California sun.

With a trembling hand, she stepped out of her car, locking the door with a quiet beep as she stepped away. It was just Grissom, she had talked to him thousands of times before. She could do it again.

Her stomach fluttered with nervous anticipation as she made her way to the door. What if she ran into Nick? Warrick? Catherine? How could she possibly begin to explain her extended absence? What if they had already replaced her? What if Grissom had no desire to let her rejoin the team after she so coldly abandoned Greg in that lonely San Francisco hospital? Worse, what if she ran into Greg? What would she say? How could she begin to explain how sorry she was for failing him, how ashamed she was to even show her face after so long?

She had bumped into Grissom at a small Italian restaurant a week after Greg's accident, and her supervisor had informed her of Greg's improving condition. She had been surprised to learn he hadn't died in the crash, but too embarrassed to admit that she had been too scared to see him in that state. Instead, she had excused herself and hid at Jaysen's until it was clear that she had to move forward. After behaving like a child, there was no way he'd take her back, but the stubborn investigator side of her had to try.

She opened the doors, the familiar sterile smell filling her nostrils as the cold air hit her in the face. Judy's smiling face recognized her immediately and she called out, "Sara! Welcome back! Do you want me to let Mr. Grissom know you're here?"

"I know my way." Sara replied with a smile, and Judy motioned her forward. As Sara moved down the empty hallway, she could almost hear the gossip line zipping past her as Judy spread the news of her return to each of her lab tech friends.

She had only made it halfway to Grissom's office when she collided with Nick, who was carrying a stack of papers, just as distracted as Sara had been. Falling backwards onto the floor, she looked up to see a shower of papers raining over her, "Oh my God, I'm so sorry."

"Sara!" Nick exclaimed, ignoring his papers as he pulled her to her feet and into a tight embrace, "When did you get back? How have you been? Look at you!"

Sara blushed, returning the embrace with a slight smile before pulling away and bending to retrieve his papers, "I'm doing good, I was just coming to talk to Grissom..."

"You don't know how great it is to see you again!" Nick said enthusiastically, helping her gather his paperwork, "I've been so worried...you left without a word to any of us."

Sara looked down, her cheeks tinted an embarrassed red, "I'm sorry about that..."

"Don't apologize, I'm just happy to see you're okay." Nick replied, his eyes lit with excitement, "Are you coming back to work?"

"That's what I've got to talk to Grissom about." Sara said softly, "Where is everyone?"

Nick's response was cut off by Warrick's loud voice, "Well look who decided to grace us with her presence! Sara Sidle."

Sara turned to see Warrick and Catherine walking down the hallway, and her gaze immediately dropped to the floor. She hadn't expected to run into everyone before even getting a chance to talk to Grissom. What was she supposed to tell them? She had been on the verge of a nervous breakdown, she abandoned her best friend in a time of crisis, and now she was back to beg for her job back?

Accepting Warrick's hug and returning Catherine's slight smile, Sara whispered, "How's it going?"

"Busy." Warrick replied, stepping back to survey Sara's appearance, "Let me guess? Los Angeles? Miami? Where else could you disappear to and come back with such agreat tan?"

"San Francisco." Sara murmured, not too surprised to see three familiar faces make the connection with her location and the location of Greg's accident. Before anyone could ask questions, she cut them off, "I really need to talk to Grissom."

"He's in DNA." Catherine supplied, "Saw him as we passed."

Sara nodded, going to walk in that direction, but stopping as she felt Warrick's hand on her arm. Looking up to meet his gaze, she smiled softly.

"It's great to have you back, Sara." he said firmly, watching her eyes darken slightly by his words, "It hasn't been the same without you."

"Tell me about it," Nick laughed, "All of the overtime we've had to pull to pick up your slack? What did we ever do before you arrived?"

Sara shrugged slightly, her hands trembling slightly as her nervousness came back in full force. How would they feel once they knew what she had done to poor Greg while he was hurt, stranded away from home? Would they be happy to see her? Would they welcome her back with open arms? Seeing how much trouble she had fitting in with Warrick and Catherine when she first started, she found it hard to believe that they'd forgive and forget something like this. Taking a deep breath, she murmured, "I really should go talk to Grissom..."

--

He heard the commotion before he actually saw her. The lab techs were buzzing about someone returning, but he hadn't been able to eavesdrop enough to find out who it was. Nick, Catherine, and Warrick were gathered in the hallway, animatedly talking to someone...coming across the four in the hall, he had instantly known it was her.

He found it hard to breathe as he caught a glimpse of her long brown hair flowing over her tanned shoulders, her normally fit body now well toned. Her cheeks were blushed slightly as his colleagues spoke to her, and more than anything he wanted to run over to her, ask her where she had disappeared to, why she had neglected him, why six months had passed with no word. At the same time, he wanted to just pull her into an embrace and welcome back the friend he had missed so greatly.

She spotted him before he was ready to make himself known, and he watched as her face rapidly paled, her eyes wide and her body trembling slightly. She made a move to walk towards him, but as anxiety and apprehension filled his tired, aching body he only turned and walked away. He didn't fail to notice that despite his slowed pace, she never caught up to him. Once again, he was leaving her, and she wasn't making the slightest move to stop him.

She called out his name, but he only shook his head, turning the corner and moving towards the parking lot. He wasn't going to be the one to beg this time, the ball was now in her court. If she wanted to talk to him, she'd have to search him out this time. He threw open the door, the warm air hitting his face as a single tear rolled down his cheek.

_TBC_


	8. Talking

_Author's Notes: Yay, I finished this story before it's birthday. I didn't think it was going to happen...but I still have a few days to spare. _

_Thanks to all who have read and reviewed. You guys are great! _

_My handy-dandy beta reader is enjoying the 100+ temps of the desert at the present moment, lucky vacation girl, and only my eyes have read this. All mistakes are mine, but hey, no one's flawless. _

_Jenny_

**Chapter Eight:**

He felt her presence before he could see her, but nonetheless, he refused to acknowledge her presence in the warm desert sun. He couldn't believe after all of this time, here she was, standing in front of the crime lab as if she had never left.

A burst of rage bubbled inside, and the moment he felt her soft hand touch his shoulder, he jerked away, spinning around with fury in his eyes, "What are you doing back here? How dare you show your face here!"

"I deserve that." Sara admitted quietly, "That and a lot more...Greg...I had to see you again."

"That's real funny." Greg snapped, his anger beginning to soften, despite his will to keep Sara at a distance, "Because the way I see it, you haven't wanted to see me in six months."

"Greg, I'm sorry." Sara whispered, her voice strained with tears as she reached out to touch him once more, flinching slightly when he pulled away, "I wish I could change what I've done...but..."

"You can't."

The cold tone of his voice hurt Sara deeper than anything he had ever said to her in anger. She knew she had screwed up, she had hurt him, but she only now realized just how much damage she had done. A single tear rolled down her tanned cheek, and she made no move to brush it away. To acknowledge it would only spark an onslaught, and the last thing she wanted to do was break down in tears in front of Greg. This wasn't about her, this was about him.

"You look well."

"I'm as well as I'll be." Greg replied cooly, "If you bothered to call, you'd know that I may never have the same flexibility in my leg as I used to. You'd know I only recently was fully released back to work...you'd know...a lot."

"I'm trying to make amends." Sara replied quietly, "It's no excuse, but at the time I wasn't thinking clearly. Everything was just so overwhelming...I couldn't handle another emotional upheaval."

"Emotional upheaval? Is that how you classify our friendship?"

"Before you left, you told me you loved me. I sent you away. You then got in an accident. You have no idea how guilty I felt! How scared I was!" Sara said angrily, her face turning a light crimson, "My mother had just died! I was reunited with a brother I hadn't seen in years! I just couldn't handle anymore."

"Well, Sara, it was a real picnic for me." Greg snapped, his eyes still blazing, "Im sorry _my_ accident put _you_ out."

Sara shook her head, reaching out to grab his arm as he turned away, "That's not what I meant, and you know it! Why won't you let me apologize to you?"

"You said you were sorry. What more do you want from me?"

Sara released his arm, her voice trembling slightly, "I want you to accept my apology. I want us to be friends again."

"Sorry, Sara." Greg replied in a taunting and sarcastic tone, "Friendship doesn't have an on/off switch. It's not something you can have one minute and forget about the next. It's based on trust and right now, I don't trust you farther than I could throw you."

"We were friends once." Sara murmured, taking a step closer to the sniffling younger man, "At least, someone who resembles you quite a bit. We talked a bit, we walked on the beach a bit...then I made a huge mistake...I wasn't aware that our friendship didn't allow room for errors."

"You can't just ignore me for six months, come back, and decide we're going to be best friends again. What next? Are you going to tell me you love me too?"

Her silence spoke volumes to him, and shaking his head, he laughed dryly, "Months ago, Sara, I would have loved to hear those words come from your mouth. I would have loved to have seen even a remote possibility of us being together, but that's just too much to ask for now. I don't even want to be in the same room with you, much less hear that you still care about me, that you possibly care too much about me."

"I made a mistake Greg. Are you going to punish me over it for the rest of our lives?"

Greg turned to face the brunette, a wry smile on his pale face, "You just don't understand, Sara. I'm not punishing you. I could care less about you. We aren't friends anymore, we aren't anything."

"You're wrong." Sara replied, her left hand tugging on her shirt while her right twitched as if she wanted to reach out towards him, "If you didn't care, we wouldn't be talking. Your voice wouldn't be full of emotion. You would have walked away a long time ago. We've never been _just_ friends. It's always been there, that spark...we just never acknowledged it."

"I did." Greg replied defensively, taking a step towards her, "_You_ didn't. _You_ couldn't. And now, it's too late."

"We're both alive, aren't we? It's not too late." Sara replied quietly, "I'm not asking you to get married, Greg, I'm asking you to be my friend. I've missed you so much, you have no idea..."

"I have some idea." Greg admitted with an embarrassed smile, a frown taking it's place as soon as he realized it had appeared, "It's too late, Sara. I'm not interested."

"You're lying. You're still here, you're interested. You're just scared."

"Of what?" Greg scoffed, kicking a patch of dirt with his shoe.

"My stupidity." Sara replied quietly, closing the gap between them, "You're scared I'm going to string you along and abandon you. You're scared that you'll remember the feelings you had, and that if something happens, it will be that much more painful to forget them a second time."

"This is not an appropriate time or location for this conversation." Greg replied quietly, "I don't want to get into this right now."

Sara's lip quivered as she quietly spoke, "Greg, I'm sorry...I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry I pushed you away, I'm sorry I let you leave, I'm sorry I never contacted you after the accident. I'm sorry I showed up here after so long, and I'm sorry you had to see me in the hallway. A thousand times, I'm sorry. I don't know what else to do to show you I'm serious about this...I miss you, Greg. I love you too, Greg. I'm sorry."

Before either knew what was going on, she reached out and let her hand rest on the back of his head, pulling her lips towards his. As they connected, both felt the warm surge rush from their head to their toes, and after a brief second of hesitation, Greg melted into the kiss, his own hand entangling itself into her brown locks.

After a few minutes, they broke apart, their foreheads connected lightly, both breathing heavily.

"So, do you forgive me?"

He remained silent as he tilted his head for their lips to meet once more. Sometimes words just weren't necessary.

**The End. **


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